Am I happy?

I heard myself saying yes, I heard myself saying I was happy, I felt myself that way. Then I woke up.
Or did I go to sleep? What is the difference?
I'm sure of being happy and unhappy, of enjoying shallow cuts or hiding them confused. I'm aware of both realities.
But which is the real one?
Why am I so sure of something that I'm not sure at all if it exists?

which one is right?
Which one won't hurt you?
Which one will I regret less?

Staying still, concious at night of the gloomyness, concious at day of the sillyness of my mood.
But so unfocused in the real thing.

So extremely painful...